Jun. 23 - Advanced Drawing Summer '08 part 3


not much to say, just finished a new drawing.web zip crack

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Posted by Colin Gray - Comments(0)web zip crack

 

Jun. 19 - 1001 Uses for Sauce (#1001-977)


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1001. Store in backpack or lunch bin for quick on-the-go snack.web zip crack

1000. Impress saucier friends with vast collection.web zip crack

999. Mask the taste and appearance of rancid, undesirable, spoiled, putrid, and otherwise unappetizing food.web zip crack

998. Use as bait for cougar trap.web zip crack

997. Create secret recipe to sell at charming rural fairs, festivals, and jamborees.web zip crack

996. Mix in M&Ms and freeze for a refreshing summer treat the kids can enjoy.web zip crack

995. Use as fake blood for your low-budget film project.web zip crack

994. Leave to rot on back porch to deter intruders.web zip crack

993. Openly mock international food shortage crisis through series of gluttonous YouTube videos.web zip crack

992. Smear onto canvas to create Pollock-esque work of art.web zip crack

991. Add much needed liquid to an otherwise dry meal.web zip crack

990. Turn demi-glace into full-glace.web zip crack

989. Dot onto landmarks when traveling through caves or forested areas.web zip crack

988. Combine as many varieties as possible and sneak into local stir-fry restaurant.web zip crack

987. Pour into measuring cups and leave around the house.web zip crack

986. Fashion into small robots and give them to your son or nephew.web zip crack

985. Celebrate National Sauce Appreciation Week, September 14-20.web zip crack

984. Add to Ritz Crackers for a bit of the good stuff.web zip crack

983. Bi-annually pour onto Dale Earnhart Sr.'s grave.web zip crack

982. Sit on it. Laugh.web zip crack

981. Microwave uncovered for 6-8 minutes. Remove. Clean microwave. Repeat.web zip crack

980. Hand out to orphans and the homeless.web zip crack

979. Use as writing implement in emergency situations.web zip crack

978. Add kerosene. Set on fire.web zip crack

977. Develop into a cheap and renewable fuel source (look in to Hollandaise).
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Jun. 18 - advanced drawing summer '08 part 2


i just finished 2 more drawings and i post them here for your viewing pleasure.web zip crack

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by the way, we made some changes to the forum.web zip crack


Posted by Colin Gray - Comments(0)web zip crack

 

Jun. 12 - What Happens in The Happening


Average Joe Joe McMuscles (Mark Wahlberg) has a boring and awkward divorce with wife of 4 months Jane SleepySlowTalker (Zooey Deschanel). Their conversations are marked with lots of long pauses and vague inklings of times past, possibly involving a devastating miscarriage or the passing of a beloved hamster.web zip crack

As the estranged couple tries to get through their personal conflicts, strange and unexplained happenings occur. These events (which happen) start off as occurring strangely, possibly will a lot of stuff and things transpiring. Eventually these results will get more serious, and these happenings happen to get more insidious and, yes, deadly. But the characters and audience still won't have the foggiest clue what these occurrences, happenings, and events all add up to. At least not until the end of the second act.web zip crack

Despite the complete disinterest of the audience, The Happening constantly flashes back to happenings during Joe and Jane's marriage (thus paralleling the happenings in the present). M. Night Shyamalan shows up in one or all of these flashbacks as Al Truistic, their selfless marriage counselor who does everything in his professional and personal capacity to keep the marriage on track. Or he might be the couple's mutual lawyer friend Phil Anthropic, who finds himself constantly and selflessly caught in the middle of their marital bickering and divorce drama.web zip crack

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The writer/director/hero of the film.web zip crack

When the film gets to the end of the second act, it happens that the happenings are happening because of (SPOILER! THIS IS APPARENTLY WHAT HAPPENS TO HAPPEN IN THE HAPPENING) deadly neurotoxins in plants. This twist is met by every theater in America uniting in a collective and thunderous groan. Parents sneak out so they don't have to pay extra to the babysitter, teenagers trudge over to the neighboring screen to see Iron Man for the 4th time, and a big fat drunk guy in the front row explodes with an "AW COME ON NOW."web zip crack

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Leaked screenshot from The Happening.web zip crack

Despite the audience's objections, Shyamalan continues with this deadly plant theme, using it as a very thin allegory for global warming and man's selfish raping of the earth (with a little 9/11 thrown in). Just in case the audience doesn't understand the parallels, there is a short bit of dialogue in which Joe and Jane spell out the purpose of the movie:web zip crack

Jane: Why is this occurrence happening to us? Why did the plants plan this event that is happening?web zip crack

Joe: It looks like mother nature is finally fighting back. Fighting back because of global warming. God we suck.web zip crack

At this point, Sam SecondaryCharacter (John Leguizamo) kills himself. Joe and Jane are sad, but after about 3 minutes they forget about him entirely. By the end, when Joe and Jane have their backs against the wall, with deadly neurotoxins looming nearby, they discover something completely mundane and retarded that can kill the plants. This could be anything, like cold weather, lack of sunlight, Dutch elm disease, or maybe a garden hoe with "DEUS EX MACHINA" carved into the side. It doesn't matter what it happens to be, but it saves everyone from the happenings, and finally puts mother nature in its proper motherfucking place.web zip crack

Through all these horrible happenings, Joe and Jane learn something about God's wrath and, of course, themselves. Joe grabs Jane's hand as they walk toward the sunset, their marriage anew in the wake of billions of suicide deaths and the destruction of all plants on earth.web zip crack

(Remember to stay after the credits, folks! There is a short scene in which the camera dollies in on a patch of dirt, where a tiny sprout emerges. The music crescendos, it cuts to black and displays a haunting "TO BE CONTINUED?!")
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Jun. 11 - advanced drawing spring '08 final & summer part one


I forgot to upload this 2 months ago.
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and this is the first completed drawing of my summer semester.
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Posted by Colin Gray - Comments(0)web zip crack

 

May. 23 - Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of a Bunch of Stuff Happening


If you come into this movie expecting an Indiana Jones film, prepare to be disappointed. However, if you anticipate non-stop, nonsensical, deeply saturated pulp action with that signature George Lucas touch, which also happens to feature a character named Indiana Jones, then you've come to the right place!web zip crack

I should note that the following contains a lot of SPOILERS!!!!!!, but if you see this for the plot then you should seriously re-evaluate your life.web zip crack

Indy 4 starts out innocently enough. Drag racing. Communists. Magnetic mummies. Cate Blanchett appears as Natasha Fatale, occasionally fading into a Ukrainian accent, but more often deciding that English is just as dandy. Some things happen and it all escalates to comically unbelievable proportions, right up to Indy surviving a neukular (sic) explosion by hiding in a refrigerator (because, like Superman's x-ray vision, atomic blasts cannot penetrate the indestructible material that is lead).web zip crack

It moves along swimmingly from there. The Janitor from Scrubs shows up. Indy is fired from his teaching position that he probably should have lost decades ago. Shia LaBeouf appears as Shia LaBeouf playing a no-goodnik, fulfilling his contractual obligation of playing "A Youth," and being mildly irritating in the process.web zip crack

I'm not sure why LaBeouf bugs me so much. Maybe it's because he's made a career of hovering on the threshold of puberty. Or that he's younger than me and has done more films in a year than Daniel Day-Lewis has in a lifetime. Or possibly that he was in Transformers, and Transformers made money. Whatever the reason, he's in this movie, and there's nothing I can do about it.web zip crack

There's a pretty entertaining motorcycle chase. Indy and his son (oh wait you're not supposed to know that yet) scuttle off on some adventures involving easy-to-learn dead languages, Peruvian insane asylums, and an indigenous population almost entirely on Amphetamines.web zip crack

This is where it gets a little loopy, if you can believe it. I don't remember much between here and the boat-car chase (satisfying the well-known rules of boat-cars in film: if there is a boat-car, that fucker's getting wet), carnivorous ants and supersonic army of spider monkeys. The point is it gets there.web zip crack

I recently saw an interview with Steven Spielberg, in which he talks about why his film 1941 was a critical and box office failure. What it basically comes down to is the entire movie is just a bunch of explosions, with no real purpose or motivation behind them. It's nice that he became aware of this, but despite this harsh lesson, he repeatedly ignores his own advice.web zip crack

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn't really have characters, but people in costumes who transition from set piece to set piece. The previous Indy films did this to a certain extent, but there's something to be said for an action film that seamlessly moves through sequences in an engaging and logical fashion. It's not about Indiana Jones, but the ridiculous situations in which he finds himself. It should have been called The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull featuring Indiana Jones.web zip crack

Despite my criticisms, I was reasonably entertained throughout, and Indy 4 doesn't fall into the Spielberg trap of being 30 minutes too long. It's a capably executed popcorn flick, and if it weren't attached to such a successful and groundbreaking franchise, people would probably like it a lot more. But it pales in comparison to the previous films (yes, even Temple of Doom) not because it's overwhelmingly bad, but because those were so good. Something that iconic is never going to live up to its predecessors, so you may as well accept it and watch Young Indiana Jones and the Legend of the Peacock's Eye.web zip crack


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Apr. 30 - A Bunny Movie


I made a short video for my montage class. It's about a bunny looking for carrots.web zip crack

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Special thanks to TylerK for making the song, "I Have No Legs and I Must Dance", for me. I'm pretty much in love with it.web zip crack


Posted by Nick Nobel - Comments(0)web zip crack

 

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