Nov. 30 - The Guy With An Opinion At The Bar Shares His Views on a Video Game
"Man, don't even talk to me about Duck Hunt. Seriously.
Listen. I've been out there hunting real fucking ducks since I was 12 years old, and Duck Hunt is NOTHING like hunting ducks for real.
For one thing, there's that gun. You NEVER hunt ducks with a pistol! And even if you were, for some odd reason, to hunt ducks with a pistol, it wouldn't be some kind of orange color. Guns are never orange, dude.
Also, it's way over-simplistic. I hate that people get up there and act like they're really hunting ducks or something when all they're doing is pointing a fake gun (that doesn't even sound like the real thing) at a screen and pulling a trigger (never mind that you're supposed to squeeze a trigger - another thing you'd never learn from Duck Hunt) and then congratulating themselves when that stupid dog holds up the (totally fake looking) duck.
Speaking of the dog. It's totally the wrong breed. What is that? A St. Bernard? Have you people who play Duck Hunt ever even heard of a Retriever? Fuck. What about a Labrador of some kind? I'll even allow for a German Shorthair. But, a St. Bernard? That's so fucking fake, man.
It takes forever to go duck hunting too, man. You've got to get up early, and get your gun and all your ammo and walk to a pond or marsh and use your duck calls before you can even think about shooting some ducks. The dog doesn't just jump into some weeds and magically ducks start flying in pre-determined patterns for you to shoot at. Not to mention the fact that you have to have a licence or the DNR will be all over your ass. You gotta pay your dues before you can hunt ducks in the real world, man. Not like this shit on this game where you can just get up at noon and start hunting ducks right off the bat.
Why don't you go out and buy a real shotgun and take a few lessons and actually hunt ducks for yourself? Are you just going to go through life letting computers do most of the work for you and just pretending you're hunting ducks, or go out and shoot some in the real world and accomplish something?
It's just really sad to think about a group of people in a basement somewhere playing this game pretending to know how to hunt ducks when this game doesn't even start to imply what hunting ducks is all about.
Just...I'm gonna go get another drink. That shit is so lame though, man. Get a fucking life."
Posted by Grant
