Jun. 19 - 1001 Uses for Sauce (#1001-977)
1001. Store in backpack or lunch bin for quick on-the-go snack.
1000. Impress saucier friends with vast collection.
999. Mask the taste and appearance of rancid, undesirable, spoiled, putrid, and otherwise unappetizing food.
998. Use as bait for cougar trap.
997. Create secret recipe to sell at charming rural fairs, festivals, and jamborees.
996. Mix in M&Ms and freeze for a refreshing summer treat the kids can enjoy.
995. Use as fake blood for your low-budget film project.
994. Leave to rot on back porch to deter intruders.
993. Openly mock international food shortage crisis through series of gluttonous YouTube videos.
992. Smear onto canvas to create Pollock-esque work of art.
991. Add much needed liquid to an otherwise dry meal.
990. Turn demi-glace into full-glace.
989. Dot onto landmarks when traveling through caves or forested areas.
988. Combine as many varieties as possible and sneak into local stir-fry restaurant.
987. Pour into measuring cups and leave around the house.
986. Fashion into small robots and give them to your son or nephew.
985. Celebrate National Sauce Appreciation Week, September 14-20.
984. Add to Ritz Crackers for a bit of the good stuff.
983. Bi-annually pour onto Dale Earnhart Sr.'s grave.
982. Sit on it. Laugh.
981. Microwave uncovered for 6-8 minutes. Remove. Clean microwave. Repeat.
980. Hand out to orphans and the homeless.
979. Use as writing implement in emergency situations.
978. Add kerosene. Set on fire.
977. Develop into a cheap and renewable fuel source (look in to Hollandaise).
Posted by Nick Nobel
